UN Practicum Blog - Ashley Schmueker

Because Love is a Form of Activism

While many of the sessions at CSW57 have shared critical information such as program

best practices, prevention strategies, and evaluation results, there are a few that

have pushed me beyond simply intellectual engagement. Two sessions ignited my

passion for activism through performance, writing and film. Lately, I have been

knee-deep in deadlines for papers, projects, family crisis, wedding planning and

preparing to defend my M.S. project in Conflict Resolution this May. Consequently, I

have felt severed from my work as an activist.

Monday's session "Women and Violence: Human Rights Activism through Arts and Film,"

sponsored by Women's UN Report Network and the Women News Network, was by far the

most powerful session I attended. For two hours, we watched trailers and sample

reels from documentaries about the Comfort Women of WWII, rape prevention in Haiti

in the aftermath of the earthquake, and "It's a Girl!" A young woman from the UAE

also shared her short film about her experience as a survivor of molestation. Within

the span of two hours, my emotions went through multiple states. Starting with

shock, depression, and numbness, and then slowly escalating to anger. I sat with the

anger for quite a while and let it manifest into action, or at least, my intent for

action. I felt inspired and empowered to do something. I was on the cusp of a

transformative experience.

Fast forward to Wednesday afternoon. I hustled over to the Taipei Economic and

Cultural Office (after quickly stopping at an epic comic shop I discovered along the

way) for the 2:30 session. "Performing Arts Workshop: Preventing and Responding to

Violence Against Women," led by the Sistren Theatre Collective. It proved to be

exactly what I needed to catalyze the type of creative action I had seen in Monday's

session and offered a space for me to perform activism in a way that I had not felt

called to in months.

We were assigned groups and asked to share stories about how we have seen or

experienced violence in our lives, and then to write a scene, a poem, or a letter

and then perform our piece on stage. My group wrote the letter. I felt nervous as we

formed a line on stage, having written separate short pieces to weave together for

the performance. I looked to the line of women beside me, they were all looking at

me, since I was the first person. An older woman nodded at me and smiled, and I

stepped forward. "This is an open letter to all perpetrators of violence against

women. Why? Why did you chose me..." And as each woman claimed her space to

question, grieve, rage, and inspire, I realized that this is what nourishes me. This

is what I need as a scholar, an activist, and as a woman to heal and advocate for

others.

Last night, our group was prompted to craft a statement on the work that we have

done in our communities to address gender based violence, and to speak about the

work we hope to do. Inspired from the performance session, I chose to use poetry as

my medium for expressing my work. I've also started a blog on creative activism, and

would like to invite you to check it out: http://irbatgirl.wordpress.com. Below, I

leave you my final offering for this blog post; the poem I wrote in answer to the

prompt. May you all find what inspires you and ignites your soul.

Because Love is a Form of Activism

its the blood

its the blood that pushes its way through my veins

that pumps my heart just a little bit

faster

ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum

transformation with every beat

anxiety-grief-anger-passion

i think they call it

adrenaline

when you know that the work you are doing

is where you belong

i have belonged

to many spaces where

individual and social change

was co-created

sometimes that space is

staring at a computer screen

hours at a time

americano stains on my to-do list

creating and recreating

curriculum

evolving into performed dialogues of

peace and conflict, international development,

community mobilization and gender

other times i organize with young women on campus

marching through the streets with screaming women

as we reclaim our bodies

and our

selfhood

i have rocked and fed infant girls

two and a half year old

Aradhana in Madurai, Tamil Nadu

orphaned and underfed

she clung to me

so tight

she became a part of me

i held an elderly woman

Meenakshi

telling me the story of her life in Tamil

i could not translate her narrative

yet

i heard her heart

she saw my soul

because love and tattoos transcend linguistics

from the human touch

lotuses and scorpions

we created a new language we both understood

because love

is a form of activism

the work i am doing

the work

the work can only be understood

through the lived experience

of the women and children

who allow me

to share their space

they teach me about what it means

to live with the greatest depth

of feeling and being

in this world

the work i am inspired to do

is the work that keeps my blood

coursing through my veins

into my heart

and out again

cyclical dreams and spirals

that teach me many things

anxiety-grief-anger-passion

i think they call it adrenaline

Ashley Schmuecker