UN practicum blog- Katelyn Brewer

Tuesday March 5th, 2013- Today was a day of heartbreak, uncertainty, inspiration, and gratefulness. Heartbreak upon thinking back on what I have already experienced and what was reaffirmed for me today; uncertainty about who I am and what I am doing; increasing inspiration from what I am hearing and learning and gratefulness for the people I have met and the learning experience of the CSW.  With so emotions going on today, trying to get my heart and head to align, and attending events- I had to stop for a second and truly think what is the goal of ALL of this? Both for myself and the CSW as a whole.
Two of the events I attended today were the most challenging and inspiring yet for me. First I attended the WILPF sponsored event ¡NI UNA MAS!. This event was one that hurt me. I have heard this phrase before during my time in Colombia- mostly from my host mother. She said “not one more- peace shall be my goal” many time. Fanny is a displaced woman affected by much violence in her own family and many of her close friends. This event made me think about what have I done since being there? Have I rang the bell for Fanny and my Colombian friends?
Rita said “Presente” more times than one and I thought what can I do but be present. Be present with those in pain. Be present and show love to those affected by violence. Be present and just show up. It is amazing to me how being present and just letting someone know you’re there can make a difference. I know that when I am hurting and someone simply says “I am here”- it can make a huge difference for me. This idea of being present flowed into the other event that made me feel extremely inspired.
I heard about solidarity at the event titled “Strengthening Preventive Actions to Curb Conflict-Related Violence Against Women.” One of the panelist stated that the vagina is also a conflict zone and the only way we can defend the women of this world is to advocate for prevention. The panel discussed how we can help those affected by violence by simple prevention methods. I have heard so much about the problem-where is the solution(s)? This event was so powerful and made me question why I am here? What am I doing with my life? All to which the answer is I need time to figure it out.
I am so grateful to learn from all these amazing people and the experience-while overwhelming-are beyond worth it.
Two of the most powerful statements I heard today that I have and still am chewing on are:
“Go beyond converting the converted. We all are for eliminating violence against women-what about those that aren’t and increase the issue. Stop preaching to one another and go further out. Use what you have and are learning and engage those who are not yet converted”    – Innocent Balemba Zahinda
“Stay ready-so you do not have to get ready, but rather you are ready to make a difference at all  times, in all contexts, in all ways.” – A young feminist